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How Long Should You Date Before Getting Engaged

Thinking you want to get engaged? In the dusty, sepia-toned years of the previous century, engagement led to marriage, cohabitation, sex, and children, in that order. No diamond, no marriage. No marriage, no sex. The popularity of diamonds and marriage was uncomplicated.

But how things have changed. Why do we marry? When should we get engaged? Do human beings naturally mate for life, like penguins? Or is marriage a construct, government-sanctioned repression, imprisonment for life in matrimonial custody?

We cannot answer these things for you. There’s no magic number that governs how long you shoud date before getting engaged. “There are some couples who know on the first date that they’ve found the one and get engaged quickly, while others take the time to get to know someone well before putting a ring on it,” says Julie Spira, online dating expert and digital matchmaker for Brides.

At Frank Darling, we focus on making the rings. But we don’t want repeat business, so, here is some practical advice we can offer on the irrational matters of the heart.


Living together first

In The Knots 2015 Real Weddings study, 76% of newlyweds said they lived together before they get engaged. If you’re on the other side of that fence consider the perks.

You’ll know each other more intimately and become more confident in your compatibility. You’ll also cut your rent in half. 

A couple living together before they get engaged.

How long have you dated?

The average couple dates for 3.5 years before they get engaged and this number is continuing to rise. Dating a little longer, and marrying a little later can come with more economic stability.

Economic stability = destination wedding.

A vacation wedding in the amalfi coast

Your shared financial health

Intelligence is attractive, the most attractive people often have the most college debt. If you are the Jon Hamm of college debt, we salute you. But it’s good to be open with your partner about your finances before you propose.

It’s what Jon Hamm would do.

The timing  

Do you just want the ring, perhaps? Whether you’re saving your finger for marriage or giving marriage the finger, you don’t need someone else to decide the time is right to get a diamond ring. Frank Darling rings are made for hands that do things, and all our styles look just as stunning on any other finger.   


Still not sure? Sure. This is 2019 and the world needs more people like you — thoughtful, considerate, and deliberate. When you are ready to pull the trigger, check out our home try-on-kit built it for modern, collaborative couples like you.